Back on board

I was sitting down to breakfast today, and my toast fell on the carpet. I ended up eating it, working on the philosophy that the human mouth is pretty dirty already. Alas carpet-meals will soon be a thing of the past, as I leave home in three weeks to live a life of homelessness. But it has come at a strange time in my life, where I no longer have that desire to ordain. Ajahn Ti told me this would happen, but being a young know-it-all I believed my desire to be a monk would last forever. Ajahn's wisdom has shown it's strengths as complacency has become the current cause of my discontent. I am having trouble getting into a serious meditation routine and the temptation is to really get the most out of sensual pleasures in the few weeks that they're still available to me. Buddhist logic would tell me this is like trying to suck blood from a stone, but nevertheless the pursuit continues.

I had thought my last few weeks in Dunedin might be something mystical, and through disappointment I have a growing distrust for the romance of the mind. To be honest it has been decidedly drab, not a thing has happened. On the other hand, every time something gets in the way of my routine, the fires of frustration are given a fine helping of fuel. The mind can't have it both ways, so what way will it be? Then I take a closer look and see these inherent contradictions as just grasping, and grasping has no rhyme nor reason.

I've fixed the broken comment system. It seems like the current theme wasn't built to handle in-line comments, so until I discover another nice Buddhistic theme, we shall just have to put up with pop-up window comments.

metta

Jack